Young Dad Finds Himself Blind Drunk At 2PM On A Monday Just As Work Starts Picking Up For The Year

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

An Australian man that spent far too much time watching cable television in the early-2000s has today had the crushing realisation that he is not American - and it is definitely not Sunday afternoon.

Zac Bennson (32) is just one of the hundreds of thousands of Australian men who have decided that the biggest cultural touchpoint in the nation's sporting calendar is an American football match between two cities he has never visited.

As a young father with a random email job in the city, Zac has had to burn through a fair few brownie points with both his wife and boss in order to take today off.

With a couple screaming kids at home, and his workload finally picking up as the white collars snap out of holiday mode - Zac probably didn't need to spend the morning drinking American beer and eating overpriced fast food.

While it's been great to spend some quality time with his mates from the Fantasy Football group chat that he talks to every single day, Zac can't help but feel like he might've done his arse here.

The football match is now over - and there's at least 6 more hours of daylight to burn through.

He's already quite drunk after starting way too early on an empty stomach before the buffalo wings and fries arrived at his table - and his mates are now either peeling off to confront their responsibilities, or talking about boring things like podcasts and property prices.

What does he do from here? Does he make the most of his day off work and continue binge drinking? Or does he just go home half-pissed and slowly sober up in the middle of a chaotic domestic setting?

As the beer starts going down much slower, Zac begins thinking about how much shit he's got on at work. What the hell has he done?

These terrifying regrets begin to dampen the mood, as non-Super Bowl regulars begin arriving at the pub at the normal time that alcoholics tend to start drinking each day.

Luckily, one of his more lively friends has a plan to disrupt this introspective spiral.

"Should we hit the pokies?"

Zac exhales with relief.

"Sounds good"