After reading the room, US investment app Robinhood has announced they will be immediately rebranding.

Following a wave of controversy after their efforts to protect Wall Street hedge fund managers and the big end of town from everyday investors, the app named after the noble thief Robin Hood is set to change its name to Sheriff Of Nottingham.

Robin Hood was a legendary heroic outlaw originally depicted in English folklore and subsequently featured in literature and film, who took from the rich to give to the poor.

However, following their modern-day contemporary’s efforts to protect the rich and keep the poor, poor, the app is set to follow in the footsteps of the fabled Sheriff of Nottingham.

“The unjust tyrant who was the Sheriff of Nottingham is the perfect figure to re-name the app after,” explained the spokesperson for the industry who has chucked a giant tantrum because some everyday people have sought to use the system against Wall Street.

“Because we want to ensure that working-class people, aka peasants, stay in their places, and don’t seek to take to utilise their own capital or labour,” he laughed.

“All that Wall Street stuff has to be left to the Wall Street guys who have spent their lives making the financial system so complicated it’s out of reach for anyone who isn’t part of the big end of town.”

“It’s not fair the free market is free for people other than us to manipulate, so we think rebranding as the Sheriff Of Nottingham and taking away people’s money like the good old days is perfect.”

More to come.


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