ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota Heights man disgraced himself last night by adding some of his own spice combinations to a tried and tested Donna Hay.

To his defence, Mark David said the lid came off the garlic powder when he went to add ‘just a dash’ to the stir fry he was making for the family.

“I got most of it out, but the wife blew up and asked why the fuck I added cardamon pods and annie seeds [sic] when Donna said no to,” he said.

“And she told me that she hated spice, like chilli and stuff. Last week, she told me she loved it. I think. Anyway, we have all these spices up in the pantry and we never use them, so I put a little bit of everything in.”

His wife, Crinkle Leaf, said the recipe had six ingredients and she’d made it ‘a million times’.

When Big Mark came out of the kitchen, sporting a bowl of dark matter in each of his paws, she knew he’d fucked up.

“It’s the simplest recipe. Donna doesn’t fuck around with her weekly dinners. Get in, get fed, drink a bottle of white in front of The Voice then go to sleep,”

“And this 6-foot-long drip of surgery salvia serves me up a bowl of something that looks like spag bol dropped on the rug,”

“He’s going to have to keep cooking until he learns. But I’m not eating this shit, the doctor told me to keep my sodium down and there’s half of Lake Betoota in that thing.”

More to come.


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