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A Betoota-born Mackay man has told The Advocate that he’s not worried about automation derailing his gravy train in the years to come, explaining to our reporter that ‘automation’ is just a ‘nine-letter word’.

Speaking from the heart, Rollie Cotton took time out of his busy morning of asking the town’s Facebook discussion group who stole the ashtray from his front verandah this time, to spell out why he thinks his future and the futures of many Central Queenslanders looks brighter now that Adani has been greenlit.

“I’ll get a job as a shit-kicker or something and make $300k. I’ve got contacts,” he said.

“Then, when my first pay cheque arrives, I’m going to get my arse welded to the seat of my new Quintrex 420 Dory. I’ll get a few sew Saragosas, some big old 7ft one-pieces and a fish finder that’d find MH370. To top it all off, I’ll put a new Yamaha 70hp 4-stroke on the bitch so I can hoon out to the shelf and jig for dollies, sharks and whatever else is down there,”

“That’s what I’ll do, mate.”

When asked if his shit kicking job is in danger of being lost to automation, as most shit kicking jobs are around this hellrock called Earth, the 34-year-old convicted arsonist said he’s not worried about that – at all.

Using the example of airliners, Rollie asked if our reporter would ever get in one if there wasn’t a pilot, that it was only a pair of robots up there in the cockpit.

Our reporter indicated that he probably wouldn’t.

“See,” said Rollie.

“You’d never put a robot on the end of a broom or behind the wheel of a V8 cruiser, would you? There’s every chance they could run amok and broom you to death or crash the cruiser into a mob of people or something,”

“Nah, I’l be all right. Even if this whole climate change thing is real, it’s not my problem now, is it?”

“It’s the kids’ problem!” he laughed.

More to come.


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