Trump Wraps Up Peace Deal So He Can Enjoy His Birthday Party

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

Donald Trump has announced the US and Iran have finally reached a peace deal after almost four months of ongoing conflict. 

Interestingly, the plans for an ‘immediate and permanent’ ceasefire comes on the day of Trump’s 80th birthday, which he intends to celebrate with an extravagant birthday bonanza, including a UFC cage match on the White House’s lawn.

The event, which is expected to draw crowds of up to 120,000, will reportedly cost approximately US $60 Million (AUD $84 Million). 

According to Trump Administration officials, the US President reached out to Iran’s Deputy Foreign Minister Kazem Gharibabadi ahead of his birthday weekend, suggesting a ceasefire would be mutually beneficial to both countries. 

Though the President had initially planned to simply spend the weekend with his phone on DND, republican parliamentary representatives nudged him towards a more final decision. 

“An immediate deal with the Islamic Republic of Iran will allocate an additional $50 million of spending money for the President’s birthday weekend,” an official document reads. 

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and Foreign Minister Penny Wong have both welcomed the ceasefire, though neither wished Trump a happy birthday, which will likely be addressed in a convoluted rant on Truth Social should the solution dissolve in the coming weeks. 

For now, however, the Strait of Hormuz, which once transported 20% of the world’s oil supply but has been closed since March, will reopen sometime this week, according to the President. 

A Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) is yet to be signed between the two parties, and Trump has confirmed there’s no chance it’ll happen today. 

More to come.