Report: Young People Drinking Less Because A Schooner Costs The Same As A Fucken Zinger Box Did Ten Years Ago
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Right around the country, some of our nation's greatest business and political minds are
World News
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US Arms Dealers Ask Biden If It’s Too Soon To Start Doing Business With The Taliban Again
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the final US evacuation flights leave Afghanistan, powerbrokers back home on US soil are already
Office Hip Hop Guy Not That Switched On Today As He Processes 109 Raw Minutes Of Kanye West
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hip hop fans around the world are struggling to function at full capacity today, following the
TV Series About Fucked Up Rich People Detached From Reality Unsurprisingly Filmed In Byron Bay
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Nicole Kidman is back on the screen in a new TV thriller about a bunch of
Afghan President ‘Pulls A Scomo’ And Flees On An Aeroplane While His Nation Burns To The Ground
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the Taliban continue to consolidate their control over the major cities of Afghanistan, the president
PM Who Took 6 Months To Order Enough Jabs Surprisingly Hasn’t Evacuated Afghan Terps Either
IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports | Contact The Prime Minister has shrugged off suggestion that he does everything last minute and/or when
“Cool. I Guess” Says The Rest Of Australia As Brisbane Wins The 2032 Olympics Bid
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The major cities and towns of Queensland have just enough freedom for their Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk
“Oh Way To Rub It In!” Says Boris Johnson After Waking Up To A Severed Horse Head In His Bed
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has today asked all Brits to remember the importance of being
“Our Work Here Is Done” Says Australia, As Troops Leave Afghanistan With No Roads Or Libraries
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After decades of ramping up the political-patriotism every ANZAC Day and Remembrance Day to justify sending
Melinda Gates Awarded Custody Of 50% Of World’s Population Controlled By Microchips
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT A court deciding one of the largest divorce settlements in history has awarded Melinda Gates custody
Biden: “Please Don’t Use The $735M Worth Of Precision-Guided Weapons We Sold You 2 Weeks Ago”
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT US President Joe Biden has expressed support for a ceasefire in Palestine during a phone call
Matt Damon Asks US TV Hosts To Hold Up A Sec So He Can Get On Race 2 At Mackay Before It Jumps
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A couple of American Breakfast TV hosts hoping for some front-page gossip have had an interview
Denzel To Star In New Revoltingly Violent Movie He’s Clearly Not That Emotionally Attached To
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In some exciting news for middle aged dads right around the world, Denzel Washington is back…