Mayor Of Townsville May Or May Not Have Flogged Some Cunt At A Pub On Magnetic Island But Just Leave It
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT There are murmurs coming out of the North this week about an alleged brouhaha that might
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Dishevelled 19-Year-Old Sheepishly Asks If Business Class Is Full
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Flap-clapping in a well-worn pair of thongs, the muffled swift of his torn tracksuit pants in
Young Professional Lies And Says She Actually Always Wanted To Be Miranda
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local young professional has today lied to her colleagues and the world at large, by
Aussies Urged To Save Water During Drought By Continuing To Shun Light Beer
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT As Australian farmers continue to battle the ravages of drought, the National Farmer’s Federation has
Drought And Fire Ravaged Firey Wards Off Bank Manager By Revealing He’s Applied For $6k Package
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a feel-good story from regional Australia, a local farmer has managed to hold on to
Sydney University Colleges Rush To Offer Misogynistic School Boys Full Scholarships
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The controversial group of schoolboys from St Kevins have received some better news today. The group
Local Woman Becomes First Person In History To Successfully Connect To Fon Wi-Fi
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A young Betoota Ponds woman has achieved an incredible feat today. She has become the first
Middle Aged Concreter’s Eels Flag To Fly At Half Mast After News Picture Mag Is Winding Up
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A local tradie has paid a touching tribute to the iconic Picture magazine today. After news
Report: 85% Of Friendship Circles Still Have One Mate Banging On About Crypto
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some interesting news released by the Betoota Anthropological Society (BAS) today, it can be confirmed
Ad Agency Forced To Actually Be Creative In Lengthy Period Between Grand Final And Cricket
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Old City District advertising agency The Damn Brandals have been losing more hair than usual as
Racing Inquiry Urged To Also Investigate High Rates Of Fashion Cruelty Within The Industry
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the announcement of an official inquiry into the treatment of retired racehorses by the Queensland
42-Year-Old Defeated By Basic Electronics Packaging
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A local Betoota Heights man has just let out a long but barely audible ‘Fuck.’ He
Man Enthusiastically Buys Google Home Only For It To Collect Dust
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT After driving to his JB Hi-Fi to purchase a new pair of earphones, local man Ryan