“Should We Perhaps Get Some Tinted Windows On These Rovers?!” Growls King Charles
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT King Charles has once again queried staff at Buckingham Palace, wondering if it would be possible
The Nation
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Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue Bloods At Victorian Racing I Mean It’s No Wonder These Kiwi And Arab
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With less than 24 hours until the Race That Stops The Nation, the same hashtags that
New Dad’s Instagram Now Just Reposts Of Whatever His Baby Mumma Posts And Tags Him In
INGRID DOULTON | Internet | Contact There once was a time when local builder Tom Sticks was famous for his social media
Lovely Suburban Couple Who Live A Normal Life Amongst Everyday People Really Excited For A Fun Day Tomorrow
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Angie and Peter ‘Pistol’ Reyes don’t get out much nowadays. With three kids under 6
#NupToTheCup Activist Not Sure If He’s Got It In Him For A Third Year Of This Shit
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A Melbourne local has today revealed to The Advocate that he may do away with one
Teal Voters’ War Against Plastic On Hold For Halloween As They Cover Their Gorgeous Inner-City Terrace In Halloween Rubbish
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Most homes in the heavily-gentrified French Quarter are decked out top to bottom in plastic Halloween
Advice Column | Hiding Your Shame As A Featureless Corporate Shill At Social Gatherings
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT Like most corporate shills, my face is entirely featureless. The smooth orb resembles little
Emotional Investor’s Recession Survival Strategy Is To Just Throw Laptop Out The Window
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact A Laptop has been seen careening through the air in Betoota’s Old City District this
Recently Dumped Bloke Decides Against Guaranteed Sex And Happy Marriage With Woman Who Smiled At Him On Street
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Recently single fella Ryan Teak (34) has learnt the hard way that the world is really
Tarocash Support Race Day Sustainability By Installing Return & Earn For Single Use Plastics
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT The nation’s most flammable suit retailer is being applauded this week, for kickstarting
Local Orchestral Trombonist Admits Jeffrey Dahmer Series Not Helping Struggling Love Life
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local musician is cursing Netflix this week, admitting the latest Jeffrey Dahmer series
Nation Rushes To The Pub As Starter’s Gun Fires On 2022 Silly Season
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact And we are off and racing. That’s right, the starter’s gun has officially been
Rockabilly People Go To Rockabilly Event To Nod At Other Rockabilly People
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In the courtyard of Betoota Heights Tavern, a rockabilly themed night has attracted swarms of rockabilly