Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
The Nation
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JK Rowling Dismisses Accusations Of Transphobia By Revealing Snape Was Actually F2M
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In some sensational news from the internet, notable author and prominent X user JK Rowling has
Lost Man Wondering Through Mecca Treated Like A Level 5 Beauty Looper After Staff Discover He’s Just Looking For A Present
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A lost man wondering through Mecca’s flagship store inside the Betoota Lakes Westfield
Dutch Volleyballer Sits Down To Tell His Side Of The Story In Exclusive With Channel 7’s Spotlight
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Channel 7 have done it again! The most well regarded news organisation in the country have
Millennial Officially A Grown Up After Finding Victoria’s Basement More Exciting Than Victoria’s Secret
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A coming of age story has taken place in the Betoota Chase Mall this week, as
NAPLAN Results Reveal 1 In 3 Schools Are Povo And Woefully Underfunded
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The national literacy and numeracy results are back, and it does not look good for the
Dutton’s Islamophobia Not Landing Like It Used To Now That Bogans Think Muslims Are Alpha Males
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Australian Liberal Party’s complete detachment from voter sentiment is once again on full display
NSW Opposition Leader Mike Spokeman Forgets To Put His Shoes On Before Coming To Work
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NSW Opposition Leader Mike Spokeman has turned up to work today without any shoes
Calls Grow For An Over 60s Social Media Ban
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The nation’s elderly folk, and elderly folk who don’t thing they are elderly folk,
Brisbane Avoids Olympic Withdrawals By Rushing Straight To The Ekka Woodchopping
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact As the Olympics sadly comes to a close after three weeks of impressive athletics and a
Report: There Was Nothing Fucking Wrong With A Form Guide In The Paper And TAB Next To The Bakery
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The cold-blooded online bookmakers that snuck into our lives during the GFC have created a
Property Developer Receives Forgiveness From God But CFMEU-Affiliated Priest Still Thinks He’s Putrid
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A prominent Victorian slumlord has today sought penance for the many sins that have ensured he
Australian Metalheads Vow To End The Trend Of Music Festivals Going Under
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact In what feels like a monthly occurrence now, iconic Australian music festival ‘Bluesfest’ have announced they’