Shirvo Shifts Nervously On Sunrise Couch As Story Of Penis Doping At Winter Olympics Emerges
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sunrise Star Matt 'Shirvo' Shirvington has this week found himself awkwardly fumbling his way
The Nation
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Young Parents Who Went A Leather Couch To Avoid Stains Kinda Would Prefer Stains Right Now
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A young father of one is today coming to terms with the price of having a
Finance Pig Saves Company From Shareholder Revolt By Flipping Performance Graph Upside Down Mid-Presentation
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact A ravenous mob of shareholders has today been cooed by the quick thinking of an up-and-coming
Local Spreadsheet Filler Boasts Heavy Duty Retractable Lanyard Like He Works For The FBI
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A big four accountant is on the march this morning, as he makes his
Boss Punishes Employees With Commercial Radio
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Local employer Andrew Dobb (54) has today treated the crew to unwarranted bout of punishment. As
Regional Goth Takes One Last Look At Classmates Before Never Seeing Any Of Them Ever Again
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact At Betoota Central’s Remienko Coach Station this morning, Ashton Mallory took one last look at
Pisshead Stumbling Home From The Pub Takes A Breather On Local Dad’s Cute DIY Swing
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A steaming pisshead is thankful for the hard work of a local DIY Dad this morning,
JB Hi-Fi Employee Can’t Tell You What Blender To Get But Can Tell You Dookie Was Green Day’s Greatest Work
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT JB Hi-Fi employee Ryan McDonald has made it abundantly clear that while his knowledge of household
Winter’s Puffer Vest Wanker Now Summer’s Beach Cabana Cockhead
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The shores of Lake Betoota have become the battleground for the latest iteration of seasonal superiority
Hometown Shopping Centre Doubles as Unofficial High School Reunion Venue
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT Returning to her hometown of Betoota Heights to spend Christmas with her family, Abigail Walters (27)
Client Who Really Wants This Done Before Christmas Unaware Tradie Really Doesn’t Care
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local yuppie from Betoota Grove has today been frustrated to within an inch of his
Local Moron Goes Into The Office
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A city man is shaking his damn head today, after fumbling the bag like a frickin
Fresh Packet Of Zooper Doopers Not Long For This World
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Zooper Doopers across the country are taking their final breaths today. As the nation winces through