Supermarket Security Guard Confirms He Doesn't Get Paid Enough To Secure Anything
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A casually-employed security guard at the Betoota Heights Flemings has today clarified the exact terms of
Sports
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Local Gay Man Hates To Say It But He Would Totally Go To Hell For Izzy
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One of Betoota’s most prominent homosexuals, Jordie, has today declared that he’d gladly face
Commonwealth Games Cyclists Noisily Take Over Every Single Cafe In The Gold Coast
LEROY PERVICAL | Goldie | CONTACT Commonwealth Games competitors residing at the athletes village have today come out in frustration of the
Professional Rugby League Player Goes Out For A Few Quiet Beers And Gets Home Safe
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sports commentators say they are shocked by revelations coming out of Wollongong this week, after it
Michael Clarke Offers To Step In As Liberal Party Leader
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact With Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s 30-Newspoll losing streak dominating the headlines more than any of
“Haha, Do We Still Own Them?” Says Prince Charles During PNG Weightlifting
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The ongoing effects of colonialism and British rule appeared lost on our visiting Royal yesterday, after
Last Surviving Member Of The 1948 ‘Invincibles’ Teases Test Comeback
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In a selfless act of charity, one of the greatest top order batsmen the nation will
Warner Cops Another 12 Months For Wearing Cashmere Sweater Around His Neck
LEROY PERCIVAL | Editor | CONTACT As controversial batsman David Warner continues to weigh up whether he will appeal the sanctions placed
Israel Folau ‘Devastated’ To Learn Childhood Hero Peter Allen Is Currently In Hell
IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact The close-knit Waratah’s team has thrown their support behind teammate Israel Folau this today
Marketing Executive At Australian Rugby Relaxes After Another Hard Day Of Doing Fuck All
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Putting his Hush Puppies up on the desk, it’s almost 3 pm and Bruce McSpanner-Taylor
Allan Border: “All This Healthy Display Of Emotion Sickens And Concerns Me”
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Arguably the toughest man in the fabled history of Australian cricket has broken his silence over
“Fair” Says Popular Wrist-Spinner Who Copped A 12-Month Ban For Taking Banned Diet Pill
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A well-known and outspoken former wrist-spinner has told reporters today that he feels the punishment handed
Sports Journos Furious They Wasted ‘Darkest Day In Sport’ On Made-Up Bikie Peptide Ring
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia’s ex-half-decent-athletes-turned-half-decent-journalists are today kicking themselves, after being reminded that they wasted the ‘darkest day