Melbourne Residents Look Forward To Public Holiday That Really Has Nothing To Do With Melbourne At All
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Melbourne's residents are rubbing their hands in glee ahead of this weekend's
Local News
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Millennial Celebrates Paying Off HECS With Cool New Pair Of Going Out Pants
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Local DJ’s are preparing to be asked to play songs by Flo Rida
Girlfriend Takes A Pause From Scrolling To Declare She’s Going To Read 20 Books This Year
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In breaking news, a local girl has declared she’ll no longer be chained
For The First Time In History, Blokes Called Dean Are Now Sexy Due To Association With British Songstress
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In great news for blokes named “Dean”, their name is officially sexy, it can
Builder Stinging For The Day He Can Send His Apprentice To Do All His Mates’ Bullshit Jobs
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact After a hard day of physical labour, Jack Johnson was about to knock the top
Man Hangs On To Footy Boots Just In Case
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact It’s been over a decade since thirty-seven-year-old Hugh Bennett laced up
Reformed Skater Really Into Push Bikes Now
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A lifelong skater forced into retirement from a 4th broken ankle has surprised no one by
Young Man On First Date Nominated For A Logie After Tasting Wine Before Buying Bottle
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A young man on a first date has been nominated for a Logie after delivering a
French Man Serenades Train Carriage With A Conversation Taking Place Solely Through WhatsApp Voice Memos
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT An entire train carriage has been swept off their feet by the soothing sound of a
"Do I Love Australia? Fucken Oath, But I WILL NOT Be Ironing The Creases Out Of My Bangladeshi-Made Australian Flag Cape"
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local gentleman has today shared that while his love for this country runs
Generous Gun Buyback Has Local Cooker Digging Up His Illegal Firearms And Handing Them In
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A generous new gun buyback scheme will take effect this week, prompting at least
Boomer Torn Between Viciously Ridiculing Nephew Over Electric Vehicle, And Asking For A Quick Spin
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local semi-retired plumber from our town's pebblecrete paradise of Betoota Heights, has
Betoota Golf Club Says Security Systems Are In Place If Any Brats On E-Bike Wanna Skid Across The Front Nine
KEITH T. DENNETT | Golf | CONTACT The board of Betoota’s most accessible golf club has issued a stark warning to