LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In a blatant effort to keep the missos of Australia interested in State of Origin, the Queensland Maroons have replaced injured dreamboat Kayln Ponga with certified hunk Reece Walsh.
Known for decades of selection mind games and mental warfare, the Queensland Maroons have opted out of toying with the population of Australia and opted to give them exactly what they need this Sunday.
“Walsh has the talent and natural ability to give us the edge over the Blues,” giggled Paul Green as he fronted the media with a pair rosy red cheeks.
“I know he can’t wait to get out there and feel the wind in his luscious locks.”
After losing to the NSW Blues in a crushing 50-6 loss in Townsville, it became clear to both the female and gay Queenslanders that the Maroons were missing the daring footwork and charming smile of fullback Kayln Ponga.
However, the Maroons appear to have found a worthy replacement in the form of 18-year-old Reece Walsh who caused more nationwide thirst than the millennium drought when he first removed his headgear.
With young Walsh now locked in as fullback for game 2, Queensland might have a chance to stop a Blues victory while ensuring that Origin ratings reach a record high amongst those looking for a some eye candy.
The only person not happy with this decision, is rugby league broadcaster Phil Gould who has accused QLD selectors of putting too much responsibility on Walsh to improve team performance and overall beauty.
“He is a brilliant young player whose future is as bright as the deepest recesses of his sparkling eyes. [It is] just simply too much pressure to put on his chiseled broad shoulders…”
“I’m sorry, what was the question again?”
MORE TO COME.