ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local ambiguously-Danish-Australian has told reporters that he plans to resume his old role in the office of knowing nothing about soccer today as the World Cup wraps up in Russia.

Christian Jepsen works as a civil engineer at the French Quarter’s fourth-most prestigious construction management firm and prides himself on being the third-floor sports guy.

Coworkers often stop by his west-facing cubicle to chat anything from the Rabbitoh’s ongoing resurgence to the Sydney To Hobart field.

However, for the past four weeks, the 28-year-old straight-haired heterosexual has been the go-to guy for everything World Cup related.

“It was a great month, some great football,” he said.

The double-Windsor’d and privately-educated Picies spoke candidly to The Advocate this morning in the lobby of his firm’s Rue de Connard offices.

“But like all great things, it must come to an end. That great thing being my interest and knowledge of the world game. While I’ve enjoyed the responsibility of being the World Cup guy in the office, I think it’s time to hand the baton to the next generation of sports fan,”

“They’re big boots to fill. I hope the next person to fill them understands the unique responsibility that comes with being the person everybody relies on for updates and the like. As for the future, I’m about to throw myself into rugby league. My desk will be kitted out in Rabbitoh shit by Friday.”

The shock move comes after Jepsen allegedly called out an ‘Anglo’ workmate who expressed his disdain for the sport as they punching into work this morning.

He has then been accused himself of being a ‘plastic football fan’ who didn’t even know the first thing about soccer until for weeks ago.

“Oh that fuck head,” sighed Christian.

“He said he hated the diving and the faux-passion people show for the sport. As a man of Danish descent, I told him he wouldn’t ever understand because he hasn’t got passionate European bloody coursing through his veins,”

“Sad. I bet he watches Test cricket and loves every second of it.”

More to come.


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