Scotty Puts To Bed Hair Plug Rumours By Rocking A Fedora

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Hoping the nation would be too distracted by everything else, the Prime Minister has set the record straight about his mysterious disappearance a month ago that saw him return with just a bit more going on up top.

Some publishers & pundits speculated the PM had undergone elective hair transplant surgery which usually requires a few weeks of recovery on top of being very expensive, details that when you take them into account make it all the more convincing that Scotty actually did it.

But, the conspiracy theorists have certainly been proven wrong today, after Scott Morrison fronted the press rocking a swish new fedora.

“What plugs?” asked the PM, sliding his finger down the brim of his fedora into a pointing gesture.

“It’s just a hat and you’re not even cool enough to wear it.”

Mr Morrison then demanded that a staffer find him something called a ‘Waratah Feather’ from him to stick on the side of his fedora like Robin Hood.

According to Canberra sources, the Prime Minister’s fedora move is the ultimate checkmate for his ‘haters’ including the Murdoch owned youth news publishers who have championed this story over challenging him on the things he legitimately needs to be pulled up on.