Resident Cockroach Appalled By The Living Conditions In Local Share House

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

“These people are animals,” he said.

“I can’t it any longer, I’m moving out.”

Peter the Cockroach only moved into the homely but ultimately unlivable Betoota Heights townhouse in October – but even an insect as notoriously filthy as he is cannot stand the mess.

Three residents will be left at the Maxwell Road address when the 3-week-old finally hands his key back sometime before Christmas.

And they couldn’t be happier.

“He’s such a fun sucker,” said Gilbert Doink, who calls the master bedroom his own.

“I’m glad he’s moving out, to be real with you, dog. Fucking Peter was always narcing us about leaving lights on and touching his food,”

“The final straw, I think, was somebody spilt beer all over his Real Estate vinyl that he left out on the coffee table. Like that wasn’t half his fault anyway.”

But when our reporters caught up with Peter at a nearby bin, he said it wasn’t so much the people he lived with, it was the way that they lived.

He explained that he was ‘appalled constantly’ by the state of the common living areas.

A general blasé attitude toward paying the rent and most other bills on time also irked the cockroach.

“I think most people who’ve lived in a share house have gotten to the point I got to yesterday,” he said.

“Enough is enough, I have to get the fuck out of this dump,”

“Even if it bankrupts me, I don’t care.”

More to come.