Report: What The Fuck Have They Done To The Subaru Outback lol

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local man in the market for a new family car as this week walked out of the Betoota Heights Subaru Dealership laughing after seeing that those bastards have done to a car once enjoyed by thousands upon thousands of Australian motorists.

"What the fuck is that thing?" Dale Jank ask a helpful Subaru salesman earlier today.

"It looks like a mouldy block of cheese on wheels."

The salesman clasped his hands together and forced himself to smile.

"Well Mr Jank, that's the 2026 Outback. In the top trim level I might add," they said.'

Jank burst out laughing.

"It's a fucking what? An Outback? It's fucking huge! It's got an arse on it like Clive Palmer. Christ, look at the fucken thing."

It was not the first time this week that the Subaru dealership has had to field shock and disbelief when it comes to their display model Outback sitting out the front.

Other prospective Subaru buyers, include their traditionally strong lesbian cohort, have all been either freaked out or offended at what Subaru has done to the beloved Outback.

"Is it still a wagon or is it a SUV now?" asked one buyer last week.

"Ah, it's got a CVT transmission? They were so good in Formula 1, they had to ban it! So it must be good."

The salesman said he didn't really have an answer for any of them and invited them to buy something else if the looks offended them so much, which most of them did.

More to come.