Report: Nana State Would Be So Much Better Than Nanny State

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

In a world constantly crying ‘Nanny State’, a pseudo report by a Betoota ‘doctor’ has confirmed that a Nana State would actually be pretty good if you think about it.

The Doctor in question is Dr Dom, a Desert Rock FM talkback host who hosts a late night radio show popular with truckies, nursing mums and anyone else unfortunate enough to be awake at that time.

As a talkback show host, Dr Dom constantly deals with allegations of Australia being a Nanny State, a term used to describe a society with an overbearing and infinite list of rules that get in the way of you having a good time.

According to Dr Dom, he usually lets his callers rant for a few minutes before either agreeing or calling them stupid, something he is now calling himself after misunderstanding the term for years.

“Well, I always called my grandma ‘nani’ so I thought people meant they thought the country was run by nanas,” stated Dr Dom, making it clear that he uses his three minutes of pre recorded news segments to rip a cone.

“It’s awkward getting these things wrong as a cultural commentator but now that I understand what it means I sort of think my nani is a lovely old thing and if she was running things maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.”

And so it was that Dr Dom published a blog post titled The Laws of Nana State which at the time of writing has 12 views and 2 ‘loves’ both of which come from Dom’s actual nanas.

“Nanny state would say ‘No one allowed out after dark’ whereas Nana State would say ‘No one allowed out after dark, without a jumper. Here’s one I knitted for you.’ That’s heaps better.”

“A Nanny State forbids you from binge drinking but a Nana State says if you’re going to do it at least have a second serving of tuna bake so you don’t get too pissed.”

“A Nanny State says we all need rules, discipline and structure but a Nana State reckons all we need is a hug. Luckily, they have one just for us.”

MORE TO COME.