Relief: Twitter Now Just As Toxic As It Was Before Elon

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Billionaire and budding Bond villain Elon Musk has backed out of his proposed Twitter purchase which means the social media app is now only as toxic as it was before.

Reportedly set to pay $44 billion USD to ‘own the libs’ Musk backed out of the deal citing that was really a bit too much to pay for an app that is only used by losers who care about reality TV and politics.

According to Musk, Twitter would have undergone big changes with him at the helm with former US president Donald Trump assuming he would be invited back much in the same way you can fart in one room and have the scent follow you into another.

Musk’s withdrawal from the deal has led to widespread joy amongst Twitter users who didn’t warm to the idea of their toxic bubble being led by a man who embodies a good deal of their users.

“Thank God Elon isn’t buying Twitter, it would become so hateful if he did,” stated user Penny Favre who despises a good 70% of the people she follows.

“Now I can Tweet hot takes about MAFS knowing I am not contributing to a vapid cycle of hate!”