PM Sorts Mate That Needs A Job

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Anthony Albanese has done a solid this week and helped out a mate who needs a job, as is tradition.

Former Opposition leader Peter Dutton bowed out of public life after being politically dismembered by Albanese at the last election, losing his seat, his job and whatever was left of his dignity.

It was a remarkably dignified exit by Australian political standards, particularly when compared to some of the other poor bastards who've been chewed up and spat out by the electorate over the years.

But the private sector Rumspringa is now over for Peter Dutton, who's been handballed a plum government job by his old mate across the chamber.

In a touching display of bipartisanship, Albanese has appointed Dutton to the Australian War Memorial Council, one of those magnificent jobs where the title does most of the heavy lifting.

The role largely involves existing, attending the occasional meeting and making decisions that rarely face any scrutiny behind doors that are almost always closed.

It's understood by The Advocate that Albanese personally reached out to Dutton, who told our reporter he was at home playing computer games when the phone rang.

"Yeah, look, I was actually having an online game of SingStar with Michaelia Cash when Albo called," Dutton told The Advocate.

"Could've knocked me down with a feather. Absolute dream job, mate."

"I was starting to wonder what kind of job I'd be getting out of this worthless Labor Government. Thought they'd forgotten about me, to be honest."

"Was expecting some token ambassadorship to a leftoid shithole like Canada or Ireland. Somewhere I'd have to actually move to. So this is heaps better."

"Full credit to Albo, though. Good to see he understands how this stuff works. We might disagree on a few things politically, but at the end of the day we're all on the same team."

"But, ah, my mate ScoMo is still hanging out for something if there's any going. Doesn't have to be much. Just something with a title and a bit of money attached."

The Advocate raised the appointment during our fortnightly PR strategy meeting with the Prime Minister's office but was told firmly that the issue was above our pay grade and that we should stick to the agreed talking points.

More to come.