ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Nationals leader Matt Canavan is on the Gold Coast this week after a disappointing result for the party at last weekend's Farrer by-election.
After weeks of wearing flannos and sleeping in brand new swags, Canavan told The Advocate this afternoon during our fortnightly strategy meetings that he was "more than happy" to slip into something more familiar.
"Yeah, no, it did go to shit for us in Farrer," he said.
"And thank you for the very kind invitation to come back to your motel room in Albury, what was it? The Crystal Fountain or something? Anyway, I heard you put away that whole salad bowl of high-powered Vanuatuan kava and listened to some pre-Dark Side Pink Floyd albums? I know Big Mick [Michael McCormack] was keen but his kava tolerance is way down, believe it or not,"
"Nah but you can't dwell on these things, aye? I'm on the Goldie, so I did away with my townie shit. Back in the linens. It's a polyester blend linen but that's the done thing around here. Tarocash loafers. I also got a spray tan, went with 'Polynesian Princess' this time around. Got the brightness on the fangs turned up to max. Got a mad trim, too. Also got this snake tattooed on my neck for no reason. Thinking of also renting an Aston Martin for no reason as well. Life's good here."
When asked what he was doing on the Goldie, Canavan laughed.
"Doing what every other person is doing here, confusing activity with productivity. Looking busy with nothing to do. Fucked if I know."
More to come.
