Man Looking To Do An Absolute Number On Himself Finds What He’s Looking For

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

“Can I get a schooner of that?” he asked sheepishly.

On a scale of 1 to 10, Darren Boing’s week has been a solid three so far.

Getting booked parking in a disabled spot on Monday, two flat tires on his dump truck yesterday and this morning, his vet told him that the reason why his cat has been acting so weird lately is because it’s got feline immunodeficiency virus – or cat AIDS to the layperson.

Two-thirty couldn’t have rolled around quick enough for the 27-year-old entrepreneur, a special time of the day that herald

“It’s OK, you can just charge me for two,” he assured the barmaid, who then went onto explain that she still couldn’t – but could pour him two and give him an empty schooner glass.

“That’ll do.”

The Advocate is currently supervising Mr Boing in his quest to live it up this afternoon and will report on any developments.

More to come.