Local Man Dresses Up As Scary Icon Of Profound Procrastination

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

A French Quarter man has got this weekend's Halloween costume sorted, it can be confirmed. 

Aiden Lesage (26) fulfilled his parents desire to go to a sandstone university and come out the other end with a law degree but he never quite got around to mastering another language, try as he may.

“I just can’t find the time to practice my verbs”

“Like many, I am haunted by the angry Duolingo owl”

“The guilt and fear that comes from profoundly procrastinating something is the scariest thing I can imagine,” he said. 

Mr Lesage, a man of French heritage living in Australia goes hard on this American holiday every year. 

“Last year I went as Luigi Mangione but some of my finance mates thought it was in poor taste”

“This years gonna be different though”

“My mate Strath is having a massive house party, half the French Quarter’s gonna be there!”

With Halloween falling on a Saturday this year the streets will be littered with ghost get ups, devil outfits and the equally terrifying tech billionaire uniform of jeans, comfortable shoes and a plain t-shirt.

As Mr Lesage finished hand stitching the beady eyes onto his green owl's head he seemed very pleased with himself.

“If I put this much effort into actually learning French I’d probably know how to speak it by now”

“I just hope people get what I’m going for”

“But anyone who's ever tried to learn another language knows just how scary that little green birdie can be”

“Sure, I’ll probably never win an award for my bilingualism but I might just take out this weekend's prize for best dressed,” he said excitedly.

More to come.