Local Dad Provides Delightful Encore To Loud Snoring By Violently Hacking Up Phlegm In The Morning

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A Betoota Ponds dad has this morning delighted the household with an absolutely stunning medley of bodily noises, proving that he truly is a one man orchestra.

It’s alleged Steve Price, [56] was heard snoring loud enough to ‘shake the foundations of the house’, which was then followed by him  hucking up phlegm the moment he woke up – so violently and for so long, that it prompted his eldest daughter Rachel to shout out, ‘fucking hell Dad!!’

The Advocate speaks to a few members of the Price household, who all look as though they’re operating on a max three hours of sleep.

“It genuinely sounds like he’s coughing up a lung”, says Rachel, looking absolutely disgusted, “there’s no reason to carry on like that.”

“Same with his sneezes.”

“It’s so dramatic.”

Steve’s long suffering wife also agrees, stating that he has gotten ‘progressively louder as he’s gotten older.’

“Back when he was 22, his farts were just toots”, explains Jen, “now they’re…meaty.”

“It’s like a cartoon sound effect.”

“For a man of few words, he sure makes a lot of noise.”

More to come.