Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
Latest news (Page 972)
Melbourne Literally Shook Rn
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the first time ever, Melbourne’s residents actually mean it when they say “I am
Scotty Stocks Up On His Australian Flag Masks In Case China Stops Making Them
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Our Prime Bloke Scott Morrison has instructed his aides to make sure he has
2021 Chucks In A Few Earthquakes For The Fuck Of It
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT\ Windows have shattered and buildings have shaken across Melbourne this morning as Victoria experienced an out-
Potential Root Forces Bloke To Throw Doona Over Sheets That Haven’t Been Washed For 6 Weeks
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local grot has gone full Mary Poppins, courtesy of a suggestive late-night text. Sam
Remember When ASIO Specifically Warned Dutton About Threats Of Extremist Far-Right Propaganda?
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Melbourne descends into the chaos of confused and propaganda-fuelled protests, everyone but the Murdoch
Greg Hunt Rolls Eyes And Lets Out A Sarcastic Woohoo After Winning Tickets To Boxing Day Test
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Federal Health Minister Greg Hunt says his Christmas plans ‘have gone to shit’ this
Dan Andrews Announces Disaster Bonus Bets In Effort To Calm Down Melbourne Tradies
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An uneasy and confused marriage of distressed construction workers and anti-vaxxer protestors are marching through
Jayden Campbell Begins 2022 Off-Season With 15 Kilogram Pasta Dish And 3.7 Litre Protein Shake
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After playing a big role in the Gold Coast Titan’s first finals appearance in five
PM Avoids Embarrassment Of Biden Forgetting His Name By Yelling “SCOTTY’S HERE!” Upon Arrival
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT While walking up the White House steps today, Scotty From Marketing has gone extra lengths to
Quade Cooper Restores Order To Universe
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After a tough couple of years for the world, order has finally been restored to the
“Why Didn’t What’s His Face Bring Barnaby? I Love That Guy,” Says Biden Walking Into State Dinner With That Fella
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact US President Joe Biden has expressed his disappointment this morning after walking into a
Christian Porter Forces ABC Into Humiliating Backdown By Resigning To The Back Bench
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Former Prime Ministerial hopeful Christian Porter has chalked up another big win, it can be confirmed