Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
Latest news (Page 921)
Woman Says If Omicron Doesn’t Ruin Christmas, Telling Her Uncle That Bradman Was A Racist Probably Will
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local woman has committed to ruining the only day her mother truly enjoys
Australians Beg Fear-Mongering News Networks To Just Stick To ‘Love Actually’ Airport Reunions
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the Australian news cycle enters the pre-Christmas purgatory of paid tourism advertorials and test
Report: “It Would Mean A Lot To Your Grandmother If You Came”
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by mum, dad and the uncles and aunties has found that it’s
Out-Of-Form Older Cousin Emits Aggressive ‘Tssss’ Sound As He Fires Off Reckless Bouncer
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A former sporting great turned sports-betting great has today proven to the the younger members
DAILY: Local Man Hatches A Plan, Scotty’s Worst Nightmare & Cute Guys Finish Last – December 15
Errol Parker and Wendell Hussey kick off another day in news, live from the Desert Rock FM studio
Function Waiter Silently Judges Woman Coming Back For A Fourth Arancini Ball
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A local function waiter, Jess Childs, has today revealed that she does, in fact, judge people
Dad Imposes Household Ban On Any Conversations About The Property Market Until After New Years
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Betoota Heights dad, Karl Valance (57) is a rose amongst thorns when compared to the
Suppressed Lana Del Rey Pixie Resents Parents For Not Forcing Her To Learn Musical Instrument
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A Betoota Grove woman has today expressed anger towards her parents for failing to force her
Cute Guy On Hinge Flagged As A Bot For Not Having Any Hiking Photos
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A cute guy on Hinge has today alerted suspicion from multiple women, when his profile appeared
“Fuuckk!” Groans PM As Barnaby Joyce Publishes 3500-Word Column Calling For Assange’s Freedom
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the newest hand grenade thrown directly into the Prime Minister’s lap by his rural
Noisy Smash Assessor Reckons That 9 Times Out Of 10 It’s A Write-Off, Aye
MIGUEL MARTINEZ | Metro | Contact “It’s never been a secret that the fucking insurance companies are a bunch of crooks,
Barnaby Returns From America With The Suitcase Of Duty-Free Dead Cats That Scotty Asked For
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Deputy Prime Minister has defeated the covid and has returned home to Canberra