Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
Latest news (Page 918)
Inner City Investment Banker Begins Wondering How He’d Last In Prison While Listening To ‘How to Make Gravy’
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT As 2021 crawls to an end, a Mosman Banker has enjoyed a good old
Local Boomer Asks Harvey Norman Staff To Direct Her Where She Can Find Her Son A Crypto for Christmas
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Betoota boomer has had to call in the tech experts this afternoon, asking
PM Says His Wife ’Must Embrace A Culture Of Responsibility’ As He Will Not Be Making The Gravy
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty from Marketing as today shirked responsibility for another basic task, after discussions begin
Free Spirit Colleague Somehow Manages to Drop Burning Man into Unrelated Conversation at Office Christmas Party
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In breaking news, a one-time Burning Man attendee has magically managed to name
Paul Gallen Confident He’s Gonna Go 3-0 Against The Manly Warringah Sea Eagles
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former NSW NRL Captain turned heavyweight boxers, Paul Gallen, is predicting a short and sharp finish
Op Shop Sticks Pool Noodle In Boot For Added Realism
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In Betoota’s French Quarter, second hand store Red Hearts has gone the extra mile to
Bloke Who Bought Muscle Car To Get Attention From Women Fends Off Daily Compliments From Men
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT When local bloke Ian Haversford bought a Mustang, he expected to earn a lot of attention
First 30 Seconds Of Phone Call With Dad Just Him Swearing At The Phone
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact “Jesus fucking Christ, Theresa, I don’t know how to work this bloody thing!” these are
Small Town Bus Driver Has Seen Some Shit
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Wayne Makeham has been the unofficial angry uncle to over 2 decades worth of Betoota children,
Local Woman Spends A Little Too Much Time Wondering What Picture Would Be Used If She Went Missing
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT Local woman Emma Shields was fifteen minutes into watching ‘The Quiet Place’ with her boyfriend, Paul
Local Boyfriend Found Regressing To Infant Like Behaviour When Mates Aren’t Around
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT When local bloke Ethan Mochrie is around his mates, you can expect a lot of lad
Pedestrian Countdown Timers Single Handedly Solve Obesity Crisis
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT In lighter news, the Australian Department of Health has today released some encouraging statistics about the