Shirvo Shifts Nervously On Sunrise Couch As Story Of Penis Doping At Winter Olympics Emerges
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sunrise Star Matt 'Shirvo' Shirvington has this week found himself awkwardly fumbling his way
Latest news (Page 65)
NRL To Introduce “Bellamy Cam” So Fans Can Watch Coach Detonate In 4K
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact In great news for Rugba Leeg fans, Channel 9 are set to level up their
Tradie That’s Not Really Into Sports Battling Awkward Month Of The Year
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local tradie with an aversion to sports has taken a big gulp as he prepares
Local Couple Skip $4000 For Celebrant And Force Thespian Mate To Do It
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact A local couple are rejoicing this week after figuring out a handy way to shave
Well-Off But Ultimately Useless Young Man Confirms The Only Sport He’s Watching This Weekend Is The Ryder Cup
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite an avalanche of high-stakes football on offer across the nation this weekend, including the AFL
Snoop Dogg Completes Melbourne Ritual By Queuing For 2 Hours To Get A Lune Croissant
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Cali icon Snoop Dogg has today given humble foodies a Friday morning treat. Calvin Cordozar Broadus
Melbourne Pubs Forced To Serve Beer In Strange And Unfamiliar Vessels As Queenslanders Roll Into Town
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tens of thousands of Aussie Rules fans are descending on Melbourne today, as the nation prepares
‘The Last Pan You’ll Ever Need’ Obviously Didn’t Account For Woman’s Tendency To Burn The Shit Out Of Everything
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact The latest advertising campaign from HexClad has come out strong with a claim that has left
Old Cocky’s Technological Illiteracy The Only Thing Stopping Him From Becoming Totally Radicalised On Facebook
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact You’ve heard of being your own worst enemy, but one local cocky has turned out
Nation’s Hot Chicks Graduate From Fruity Vapes To Korean Ciggies
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT A momentous shift is being felt across capital cities as the Nation’s hottest girlies collectively
Local Woman Checking Bank Account Post Hens Weekend Closest She’ll Ever Get To Exposure Therapy
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT I’VE BEEN HACKED: A local woman earlier this week endured the psychological equivalent of
Boss Has A Sneaking Suspicion Staff Might Be Using ChatGPT After Receiving 5-Page Email Requesting A Day Off
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Artificial intelligence is reportedly being used to outsource fundamental human interactions in a South Betoota office,
Rest Of Nation Really Happy For Their Mates In Victoria Enjoying Grand Final Long Weekend
JASON BARRY | Victorian Leg Tennis | Contact Australians nationwide have united in a stirring display of social cohesion as Victorians enjoy