"Woke Is So Fucking BACK" Says Leftie As If Democratic Machine Isn't Just Gonna Run Newsom In 18 Months Time
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A new day has dawned on Western democracy this week, according to local terrace house resident
Latest news (Page 50)
Mum Hits Family Chat To Remind Everyone To Do Their Census Tonight
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights matriarch of 4 has today made sure to check in on her little
Local Menace Prepares To Become Town's Only Trans Asexual Muslim Tonight
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact A French Quarter sharehouse dweller will provide bad data to the Australian Bureau of Statistics
South Australia To Hold Royal Commission Into Ever-Evolving Technology That Will Be Unrecognisable By The Time They Have Any Findings To Report
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Premier of South Australia has this week given in to the fears and panic of
Local Fuck Boy Turns Phone Off And Goes Dark To Avoid Filling Out Census With Situationship Tonight
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The waters have been muddied for a local woman, once again. Local fuckboy Andy Towers (29)
Government Calls Cross Bench A Bunch Of Pussies For Not Signing Up To Punters Club
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal government has today lashed out at all the 'soft cocks' in their
Australia's Softest Contact Sport Somehow Most Likely To Be Rocked By CTE Epidemic
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The AFL’s head trauma crisis continues to spiral out of control, as the nation watches
“I Don’t Know Any Of These People” Says Millennial Man Who Has Stuck To Unchanged Playlist Since 2019
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT A 33 year old man from Betoota’s flight path district has spent the last week
Interest Rates Might Go Up Tomorrow, They Might Not Blah Blah Blah Shut Up Jim This Is All Your Fault
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Mortgage holders are bracing this week for the possibility of their home loan getting
Violently Hungover Passenger Vows To Never Save $20 On The Early Flight Again
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Early yesterday morning, a Jetstar and a Qatar Airways plane were involved in a near miss
Toddler With Hand Foot And Mouth Starting To Look Like He’s Spent 40 Years In The RSL Sports Bar
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A young man from Betoota Heights is today acting well above his age. 18 month old
Sydney's Pubs Packed With Thousands Of City2Surf Contestants Looking For A Sweaty Mid-Arvo Root
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The pheromones were pumping in beer gardens across the Harbour City yesterday, as thousands of young
Phins Agree To Carry The Weight Of Queensland On Their Shoulders After Qualifying For Finals
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Dolphins are this evening enjoying the greatest night in the club’s history (so far)