Local Tight Arse Needs Two Wallets To Carry All His Coffee Stamp Cards
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact A local tightarse is once again defending his fiscal proclivities this week, in the face
Latest news (Page 248)
As Halloween Concludes, Henchmen Are Sent Into North Pole Dungeons To Retrieve Mariah And Michael
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. This comes as the festival of single-use
Woman’s Hometown Only Ever In The News For Something Really Fucked
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A Melbourne woman who’s noticed her hometown trending on social media has unfortunately discovered it’
Betoota Advocate Accepts Annual Million Dollar Cheque From Gambling Lobby To Not Talk Shit About Cup
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT CLIENT WIN: The entire Betoota Advocate staffroom has today taken Monday afternoon off, after receiving its
Local Kiwi Shrugs And Admits Yeah Sure It’s Pretty Impressive That The Blackcaps Casually Whitewashed India In India
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact New Zealand has arguably achieved the most emphatic, historic and unbelievably impressive Test series win in
Local Bachelor Refuses To Have Even The Faintest Bit Of Colour In His Apartment
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact THE PALLIATIVE CARE PALETTE: A bloke from Betoota Heights has confirmed that colour is a big
Nup To The Cup? Here Are Some Alternative Horse Races That You Can Bet On Tomorrow
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact For those who think the Melbourne Cup might be a bit too mainstream, or maybe you’
“There’s No Such Thing As A Free Lunch, Unless You Were Born Between 1952-1971” Says Coalition
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation’s Opposition have kicked off the week by living up to their name today,
Major Changes To HECS And TAFE Fees Drowned Out By Journos Fixating On Where PM Sits On The Plane
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact In a major policy announcement that is struggling to get any airtime in an Australian news
Senator Pocock Voices Concerns Over Labor’s Federal Corruption Watchdog Being A Morbidly Obese Dachshund Called ‘Mr Cheese’
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Senator for the ACT David Pocock has criticised the federal corruption watchdog, set up by Labor
BOM Warns Queenslanders That She’s Gonna Be A Fucken Stinker Out West
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The Australian Bureau of Meteorology’s leading forecasters have this week issued a stern warning to
Man Who Can’t Commit To Dinner Plans Somehow Manages To Lock In Flights For Bali Boys’ Trip
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT In a move that has left his mates both astounded and impressed, local Aussie bloke
Summer Fast Approaching As Boats Move To The Driveway For Annual Hose Down
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT With summer fast approaching, the boats of Betoota Heights have emerged from hibernation, transforming driveways into