Landlord Urges Tenants To Walk A Mile In His Bourgeois Shoes Before Judging Him

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Owning and maintaining property isn’t a cakewalk, according to one local landlord who today took aim at those in the community who judge him solely on his enormous wealth.

Dennis Pooley, a 42-year-old bipedal pig from Betoota Heights, says that while it might seem akin to owning a pleasuredome in Kubla Khan within a lime-tree bower – being a landlord is alot like being in prison.

Speaking today to our reporter through our newsroom’s fly-screen door, Mr Pooley said his investment property’s value has decreased more sharply than a late model Boeing.

However, he told our reporter that’s not the worst of it.

“I had my property in Betoota Heights advertised for $570 a week. The ad was up for about a month then all of a sudden, my agent calls and says these young people have offered me $500 a week,” he said.

“Never in my life have I been so offended,”

“There’s a lot of costs associated with home ownership that young people don’t understand. Rates, upkeep and water. The list goes on,”

“I speak for a lot of landlords when I say I’m sick of being treated like a second-class citizen. Just because I’ve worked hard my whole life doesn’t mean I should be treated any differently to those who haven’t.”

Pooley sighed heavily.

“Walk a mile in my shoes. Maybe then you’ll think twice about slinging mud on the people who own property.”

More to come.