A Betoota Heights family home has once again been reminded that free-to-air television programming is not capable of fast forward, rewind, pause or save.

This comes after local dad, Tony Murphy (61), missed the first 5 minutes of a thrilling reality television show that seems to have the entire household under it’s spell.

Rushing back from the kitchen after dutifully cleaning up the bomb site left over by mum’s famous spag bol, Tony was moving at a rapid pace not seen since the family were running perfectly on time for a flight to Fiji in 2007.

“What’d I miss?” asks Tony, before tragically realising he’d missed the first two dramatic beats of this bizarre Australian television event.

“Wait go back!”

“Can ya rewind?”

His family – who have spent the last decade patiently explaining and upskilling their old man on the technological advancements of streaming services, digital TV and the internet – let out a collective groan.

“Dad, this is free to air. You know we can’t rewind this” says the oldest.

Tony is pleasantly surprised to learn that the old analogue TV is still holding up.

“Well there ya go” he says, as he nestles into his prefered corner of the couch.

“Anyway shoosh. I’m trying to catch up”

Tony’s request that the entire family shuts up lasts about about 1 minute and 45 seconds, before he himself pipes up again.

“Wait so whose this bloke again. Is he the contestant or the judge?”

The family begin carefully re-explaining the entire format of this television programme that Tony has been watching for 4 weeks, only to look up and find him deep in an REM slumber, while continuing to acknowledge everything they say with murmurs.

“Dad are you even awake?”

He responds.




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