WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

A local engineer has been caught out doing his best Sansa Stark impersonation and lying to the world at large today.

The incident occurred at around roughly 1:55 pm out the front of a popular cafe in the Betoota’s Old City District this afternoon, when a local man named Toby Hunt informed his friends that he didn’t have any chewing gum, despite leaving the servo less than an hour ago with a brand new packet.

“Haha nah, last bit actually, sorry,” lied Hunt through his teeth after a couple of scavengers sought to grab a couple of little Extra bits off their friend.

Facing the wrath of the friends he’d just finished a late pre-session lunch, Hunt then refused to reveal the packet of chewy he just put back into his bag for some reason.

Hunt, who often uses the chewy to eradicate the effects of his onion heavy diet, then proceeded to fend off questions from the group.

“Shame I don’t have any left guys sorry, it’s curiously soft, minty and cleansing,” he said riling them up even more.

“We literally saw you put it back in your backpack. Why’d you put it back in your bag if the packet’s empty?” berated one friend.

“There’s a bin right there,” said another.

The young bachelor and engineer, who always plans ahead as is the case with most engineers, confirmed he desperately wanted to tell the rest of his mates that he wasn’t giving them any because they are leeches who suck things like chewy, ciggies, and data right out of him.

But knowing he would have looked like a bit of a shit bloke, the seasoned veteran kept it to himself and battened down the hatches until the storm subsided.

“It wouldn’t kill them to go and get some gum would it, Steve (one of the members of Hunt’s friendship circle) feeds lobsters into the pokies like he’s working for the NBN, so I don’t see why he can’t go and be the good bloke who buys and gives out chewy for once.”

“Because I’m sick of being their bottomless chewy dispenser. It’s like a third of a schooner for a packet for Christ’s sake.”


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