WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

A link between the Volkswagen Golf and young women from affluent households has been discovered in a recent report published by theHousehold Wealth Index (HWI).

Parts of the study suggests most Volkswagen Golfs adorned with red P-Plates are registered to an address in Betoota Grove – the traditional LNP heartland of town and epicentre of wealth. 

The findings released by the HWI are based upon 24 months of data, and link 91% of purchases of the popular hatchback to local men aged in their 50s.

However, the rate at which these men drive the cars is well, well below that figure.

Royal Betoota College Of The Arts student, Bridget Andrews, told us that while her 2016 Golf is registered in her father’s name, it’s essentially hers. 

“Dad got this car when I got my licence by coincidence,” she said. 

“He said I got use it whenever I want but when my sister gets her license, we have to share it. Fat fucking chance of that ever happening. Also, chances of her passing the driving test? Hello! She’s got the spatial awareness of a Venetian tourist high on Ketamine. No way.”

Although Andrews was unaware of how much the car was valued at, she informed us that she transferred $2,000 to her father’s account after the purchase as a sign of goodwill.

“One thing Dad always told me growing up, he said, ‘Bridge, there’s not free lunches in the cunt of a world and life is just a sea of pain and disappointment,’ or something grim like that,” she said.

“So I transferred him like half the money for it, because there’s no free lunches!”

Andrews’ father Michael assured the The Advocate that the $2,000 transaction did take place.

“Yes it did, and I made sure it did. Because it’s really important that she knows the value of money you know.”

More to come.


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