Pantry Overflows With Weird Snacks After Housemate Does Groceries Blazed Again

LEROY PERCIVAL | Central-Coast Queensland Folk-Rock Editor | CONTACT

A kitchen in Betootas brownstone district is overflowing this evening as one of its occupants went to the shops during the time between having a smoke after work and having dinner.

Scottie Green, a fourth year apprentice sparky, decided to head to Woolies in the early evening after discovering Kelly, his house-mate, had gone and bought Nesquik.

Two hours later, when Kelly went to make some dinner, she discovered the pantry completely choc-a-bloc with all sorts of weird snack foods.

“it’s ridiculous” she said, slowly opening the doors. “He knows I’m trying to be healthy and there’s 5 packets of fucking gingerbread men in here. Who even eats gingerbread men? He’s grabbed stuff from that weird little European section with the long-life baked goods.”

A quick scan around the shelves revealed 3 packets of heavily-discounted cinnamon donuts, 2 bags of cheesymite scrolls, 4 of the large boxes of Nutri-grain, beef jerky, wasabi peas, 2 packs of space food sticks, Cheezels, Rollups, some roasted walnuts, craisins and a pack of honeycomb flavoured Malteasers.

“Yeah wasn’t the best idea” sighed Scottie. “I was way too blazed to go in there. I’m fucking broke now. The bill came to like $900. FML”.

After emptying a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, Scottie insisted we take a pack of cinnamon donuts on our way out. “They’re about to expire”.