After a very long year of snap lockdowns, extended lockdowns and shifted jab roll-out targets – hundreds of thousands of families across Australia are starting to feel like a pressure cooker heading into Christmas.

Medical misinformation is thriving on social media and group chats right around Australia, a disaster that came as a saving grace for the Morrison Government, who was in great need of a distressed and scared movement of terrified citizens to take the heat off the fact that he ordered our supply of jabs 6 months too late.

With riots, strikes, and heavy-handed mandates clouding the news cycle for the last couple months, the Australian voters may even be forgiven for forgetting that this heartbreaking division within Australian families was actually caused by the Prime Minister seeding skepticism in the AZ jab with his blood clot fear mongering back in July.

With the public health campaigns finally rolling out months after the Pfizer supplies had been secured, the Murdoch media turned their attention to stoking fires amongst jab-hesitant communities who already harboured a healthy distrust of the government.

So with Christmas just two month away, Australian families are increasingly tense – due to the fact that they have been encouraged to blame their conspiracist loved ones for the shitty year they’ve had, rather than the incompetent federal government.

In Betoota’s Old City District today, one local mum is reminiscing back to an era when she didn’t need to block her younger sister on Facebook.

In fact, Facebook didn’t even exist in the good old days, so neither did the poison of watered-down Neo-Nazism that has infiltrated the alternative lifestyles of the nation’s wild aunties.

Local mum-of-4, Janelle Meriton (60) says she longs for the time when her more kooky loved ones could only source their conspiracies from the anarchist book shop that smelt like cannabis, down in the Flight Path District.

“You kids probably don’t remember back then” she tells her now adult children.

“Back when your aunty Bethy was mostly concerned about whether or not JFK had been killed by a scorned Marilyn Monroe who was given a sniper rifle by Frank Sinatra”

“Or back when she thought Elvis and Kurt Cobain were living in exile together in Cuba”

“Nowadays her conspiracies are a lot less harmless”

With Aunty Bethy now at the point of late-stage-YouTube-brain where she’s running burner accounts on social media to threaten the Chief Health Minister, Janelle reckons there might be a few fireworks at the Christmas table this year.

“I’m pretty sure she sent your cousin a text message during the Melbourne riots to tell him that the people were waking up and that he should be prepared to stand against the wall” sighs mum.

“I just don’t know why she thinks a rural GP would have any involvement in the New World Order”


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