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SalesMonkey, a local tech startup, has been thrust into the spotlight today after its claims of being ‘modern’ and ‘innovative’ have been thrown into question following a dispute made by whistleblower, Rochelle McMahon, an engineer who interviewed at the business. 

“I couldn’t believe what I was seeing” 

“It was like being back in 2007, everyone in the open plan office was on these thick Toshibas.” 

“Needless to say I knew I wasn’t going to take the job as soon as I clocked the first laptop but I had to be polite and at least pretend to be interested” 

“I mean, I don’t want to be lugging around that piece of shit and MacBooks just look cooler. I’d look like the poor kid from school if I carried around a Toshiba.” 

The Advocate reached out to SalesMonkey via email for comment, however it proved faster to communicate via carrier pigeon. 

After a slow letter exchange that lasted many months, it became apparent that SalesMonkey CEO, Mr. Jeff, purchased the Toshibas because he got “a sweet deal” and he “didn’t buy into that Apple cult”. 

At the time of press, The Advocate is still waiting for Miracle Wings, SalesMonkey’s fastest pigeon, to return with correspondence. 

More to come. 

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