Lawn Guy Loudly Talking About Edging And Aftercare Unaware Of How Much Of A Degenerate He Sounds

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local ‘lawn guy’ has left some ears burning tonight, after an innocent conversation about lawn care left eavesdroppers wondering what sort of degenerate they have in their midst.

Tyler Moore, 38, who has recently undergone a rite of passage of becoming a ‘lawn guy’, which is now only reserved for the privileged few who are able to afford a house with a backyard, could be heard telling his long suffering mate Terry all about his lawn care regime – which unfortunately sounds a bit naughty out of context, given he likes to refer to his lawn as ‘she.’

“Yeah mate, she’s long overdue for some edging”, says Tyler, “which you’ve gotta do when it’s damp, not wet.”

“That’s how you safeguard the roots.”

“And if the turf’s new and thirsty, you’ve got to really focus on the aftercare.”

“The first month of laying new turf are the most vital.”

“Unless she’s laid in the cooler months, then it’s six weeks.”

Tyler is said to have started talking about his ‘hoes’, before the manager kindly asked him to leave the premises.

more to come.