Letting out an exaggerated sigh, local woman Phillipa Wallace once again finds herself forced to explain her deeply intricate textural issues with certain types of food.

Not that anyone’s asked or even gives a shit, but as the resident fussy eater, Phillipa is used to being on the defensive as most of the food she avoids happens to be quite popular and weirdly seems to draw massive reactions from people.

The latest is said to have occurred at a rooftop BBQ hosted by her mates, which saw her cop a few weird looks for both making strange dietary requests (no onions or tomatoes thanks) and lathering every vegetable in a thick cover of smoky BBQ sauce, despite them already being seasoned.

“It’s just a texture thing, I don’t mind the taste”, she’d explained, before anyone had the time to ask, “I think the flavour of onion but it’s too crunchy.

She was later also seen picking out pieces of mushroom, which immediately earned her a “you don’t like fucking mushrooms either?”

“They’re so rubbery!”, she’d wailed, “I love mushroom sauce!”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here