As the sun sets on a particularly debaucherous weekend, a Melbourne girl has found herself in the least comforting place on earth, Coolangatta airport.

Battling a sore head and twisted stomach after rediscovering her love for UDL’s last night, bride-to-be Karla Rosegold is suffering a case of the noggin wobbles.

After trekking from Moonee Ponds to the Goldy to celebrate her hens weekend with seven of her closest friends, Karla’s enjoyed a most frivolous weekend which included a six hour bottomless brunch at Burleigh Pavilion, before ending up on a dancefloor on Cavill Avenue dancing to Iggy Azaela classics.

Now killing time while her delayed Jetstar plane back to Tullamarine finds some new tyres, Karla has found herself staring at the self-help books in WHS Smith, searching for some kind of inspiration to get her life sorted before she ties the knot.

“$38?!” Karla sighed while picking up a copy of some 12-week toolkit to “reimagine your life”, written by a fitness influencer.

“I probably really need some Panadol, not a new life mantra…” she whispered to herself.

With only $15.50 left in her bank account, and the weight of knowing she owes at least $300 to one of her friends for recreationals, Karla has told The Advocate a greasy plate of airport grub might actually provide the comfort she needs.

“Reckon that Chinese is safe?” she asked, pointing to a food court stall that lets you select any two Thai stir frys, Chinese noodle dishes or Indian curries with rice as a $21.90 special.”

“I think a Chicken Pad See Ew and a can of Coke might help more than a 8-step program to realise my full potential.”

More to come.


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