They say it’s all about who you know in the hustling start-up scene. And that’s doubly true for entrepreneurs who have realised their start-up is actually a useless piece of shit, commercially speaking.

But one thing I tell all of my start-up students is that a true hustler never gives up. Real entrepreneurs never lean back or make excuses. 
If you’ve found that after years of painstaking hyping and grinding and multiple capital raises, your start-up is broke and all but a complete failure, now’s the time to stand up and breathe new life into your terrible business idea that will never make a profit. And the only way to do that is to use a whole lot more of someone else’s money, again.

Here’s how you do it:

FAMILY FIRST: If venture capitalists keep knocking you back, then give up on the smart money. Turn to family instead. Because blood is thicker than common sense. The start-up community is very much like the Fast and the Furious, you ask any real entrepreneur, it doesn’t matter if you get one dollar or one million, family is family, and money is money, and Coronas are the beer to drink if you like Vin Diesel and fast cars that explode lots. 

While none of that makes sense to you now, you’ll soon discover that it doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that the Fast and the Furious franchise has made billions of dollars, despite being a useless piece of shit just like your start-up. 

So tap your family for that sweet nitro cash injection! 

GO FUND ME PAGE: If family can’t scrape together enough cash to give you at least a couple of years’ runway of living and breathing the entrepreneurial start-up lifestyle, time to think bigger. Time to get out to the wider populous and tap into all those idiots who want to give up their money for a ‘good cause’. 

For your Go Fund Me page to succeed, all you need to do is pretend your start-up is a not for profit or that a certain amount of proceeds will go to charity. None of that is true of course! But this is how you breathe new life into your hideously stupid start-up business venture.

Remember, your start-up’s success is just one more round of funding away! Good luck.


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