With the annual Christmas shopping hysteria right around the corner, executives from the Australian supermarket giant Westfield have today pressed the button.

The ex-NASA scientists hired by CEO Frank Lowy have receive their orders and make their way to the basement of the corporation’s head office in Hurstville, NSW.

Alarm horns sound as the surrounding staff members are cleared from the space to avoid contamination.

Out of the sixteen remaining Westfield marketing cryoconservationists on the floor, one emerges in a hazmat suit. He approaches a steel container marked ‘CRAZY LOVE’.

He presses a green button and twists the vault wheel.

As the freezer vapour blasts out the doors of the air liquide deep freezer, the 1.7 metre frame of the 43-year-old Canadian crooner stands exactly where they left it on December 27th 2017.

A relaxed Christmas instrumental plays throughout the warehouse, the same sound that is soon to be relayed across every major Westfield franchise in the world.

Standing in the centre of the state-of-the-art cryogenics facility is the the tried and true voice of December. 75 million albums sold worldwide. The worlds’s leading cause of hot flushes for mums, outside of menopause.

It’s Michael Bublè, and it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.


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