EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
Feeling a strange tingling sensation on his face, local man Henry Wills is suddenly struck with the urge to shave – and he can’t quite put his finger on why.
Henry had reportedly been attempting to grow out his stubble after cutting it a little too close with the razor a few weeks ago, resulting in a clean-shaven look that was a little too infantile for his liking.
Coupled with a slightly recessive chin and a stubborn pocket of ‘baby fat’, as he still calls it, and Henry has come to admit that his disappearing jawline looks best disguised under a thin layer of bum fluff.
However, this commitment to sporting a more rugged look could unfortunately not withstand the power of the elusive clean bathroom sink, which appeared to call to him like a siren leading sailors to their death.
Examining his razor for pubes so as not to use the wrong one, which of course was the same make and model as his regular one, Henry set to demolishing all of his wife, Vanessa’s hard work.
It’s reported that Vanessa had taken a break from chipping away at the blobs of toothpaste Henry had left to calcify in the basin when she caught him leaving the scene of the crime.
“For fuck’s sake Henry, are you serious?”
“Why couldn’t you have done this before I cleaned the bathroom?”
“You could have at least RINSED IT.”
More to come.