LOUIS BURKE | Lifestyle | Contact

Emerging chrome-dome Darren Wright (42) has dealt a blow to his receding hairline by growing a goatee in what many are calling the ultimate act of defiance.

The 42-year-old wrestling enthusiast states he wants to make it clear to people that he is not going bald without a fight, choosing to grow his facial hair in a specific area around his mouth only.

“Now people know I can grow hair, just not on the very top and front of my head,” stated Wright while stroking his striking new feature.

Having never experience anything close to adversity before, Wright’s pseudo-anarchistic rebellion is believed to be a defence mechanism to people making comments about his bald head.

At present, it seems Wright is adopting the unruly approach of growing a goatee in order to turn his baldness into height and weight into strength.

Wright has also stated he plans to shave the remaining hair on his head and begin life as a bald goatee guy and is hoping he will look tough enough to avoid jokes about his bald head and maybe even convince a few people he is bald by choice.

Experts are unsure as to why Wright plans to keep his last eroded patches of hair but will not give the statements to his face as ‘he’s been looking a bit hard lately.’

A source close to Wright who has chosen to remain anonymous said “Barren Darren” is out of his mind if he thinks he’s not going to cop bald jokes and that the goatee makes him look like the bad husband in an episode of Wife Swap.

According to Wright, this unconfirmed source is likely to regret these words once he eventually does shave his head and get a tattoo of a cross on his forearm.

More to come.


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