"Fuck Me Dead" Sighs Bullock As She Prepares For Few More Years Of Being Public Enemy Number 1

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The Governor of the Reserve Bank of Australia is taking a break from the news this week, it can be confirmed.

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate, Michelle Bullock says she's going to take some time to rest and recharge while her name is out of the headlines.

"Yeah, I know what's coming," sighed Bullock, who will be responsible for the inevitable interest rate rises over the coming months and potentially years.

"Once again, inflation is gonna go up because these fucking blokes in charge keeping firing missiles everywhere."

"And that's gonna be my problem again," sighed Bullock, who to be fair, is very nicely remunerated for the unenviable task of trying to keep the economy on the straight and narrow.

"Because once again significant international factors are going to drive up the prices of things in Australia and inflation is going to keep going through the roof."

With only one real lever to pull on trying to bring inflation back to the magic number, and 'keep the economy chugging along,' Bullock says her time in the headlines is inevitable.

"Yeah the government certainly isn't doing jack shit about the impending spikes in energy prices that are about to arrive," laughed Bullock.

"So big Jim (Chalmers) can fire shots at me when the time comes, but he'd be well advised to lean on his old mate Bowen to start pulling that gas trigger to make sure we don't send all our gas overseas to get bought back on spot markets for absurd prices..."

"Because the price of everything's gonna start going up, and I can't do shit about that."

"So everyone's gonna crack it when I do the only thing I can, which is raise the cash rate."

"Swear to god..."

"Anyway, I need to switch off."

"Goodbye."