Environmental Bureaucrats Conveniently Decide To Hold COP Summit In Turkey Instead Of Adelaide

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

After nearly two years of backroom wheeling and dealing, the hotly anticipated COP Summit is going to Türkiye.

On par with the World Cup and the Olympics, the COP summit is a global event that captivates the imagination of billions - so the hosting rights are obviously much sought after.

Stunningly, the humble city of Adelaide had been in the lead to snag the conference for the made up phenomenon that has seen global temperatures rise at a species eradicating rate.

However, as is the way with all of these global events, the shady operators behind closed doors have let self-motivation take hold.

That has seen COP31 moved to the nation of Türkiye, the home of the hot air balloons and the hair transplant.

With Turkish Hairlines as the flagship sponsor for the event, strong allegations have emerged that COP31 was moved to Türkiye by the desire of faceless bureaucrats keen to get a 2 for 1 deal.

"Let me just say, it's a renewable energy eggheads dream scenario," said one filthy Adelaide public servant involved in the bidding process.

"They clearly been swayed by the prospect of pumping some gozleme and getting the noggin sorted on a work trip."

"It's fucking bullshit."

"Now we've got dump plans for the 2 million customised Farmers Union Iced Coffee Cartons."

"I'm off it."