Coal Power Plant Groans Under The Strain Of Man’s Extremely Inefficient Space Heater On Full Blast

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Betoota Heights resident Daniel Thompson has unwittingly pushed the Henning-Remienko Power Station to its limits by running his budget Anko space heater at maximum power for extended periods.

The 2000-watt appliance, purchased recently for $29 from Kmart during this current cold snap, has been heating Thompson’s sharehouse bedroom to tropical temperatures.

“It’s quite cold outside,” explained Thompson, 19, comfortably seated on the end of his unmade bed.

“This little thing is great. No need to buy some flash gas heater, nothing like that. This thing will spew out heat. I leave it on all day and half the night. Wearing a jumper inside is silly. This thing is able to keep me warm all night, even when the window won’t shut properly.”

Engineers at the power plant have reported significant strain on the electrical grid.

“We’re operating at maximum capacity,” said Sarah Johnson, chief engineer.

“Something out there is drawing huge amounts of power and we need to find it quickly. This pig [power plant] won’t take too much more of this.”

Thompson did remark that he notices a slight dimming of the lights when he turns it on but quickly gets used to it.

“That’s how you know it’s working,” he said.

“It’s converting electricity into heat.”

Our reporter asked if he’d consulted his flatmates on his heater use, to which he shrugged.

“Why would I?”

More to come.