British PM Kier Starmer Digs In After Receiving Motivation From Office Poster

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

British Prime Minister Kier Starmer is due to face his Waterloo in coming days but for the time being, he is remaining firm in his decision to keep calm and carry on with business.

After suffering a horrific result in the UK Local Elections weekend before last, a growing number of Labour MPs have begun circling Starmer like he's a plump seal on a rapidly-melting iceberg.

At the time of press, over 70 of his so-called colleagues have demanded he resign and be replaced by someone the British people will learn to hate just as much.

It can be revealed by The Advocate that Starmer's chief motivator to steer the course through this hellish quagmire of unpopularity, is a poster of a kitten hanging on a clothesline.

Speaking to The Advocate from London via wireless telephone, Prime Minister Starmer explained the impact the past few days has had on his own resovle, as well as why he's refusing to budge.

"I think when the British people elect a government and a Prime Minister for five years, as is the tradition in this country, that's what they get," he said.

"This dreadul antipodean influence on mid-term leaders swaps needs to end and it ends with me. But I'm not going to lie, the thought has crossed my mind. Especially within my own party, I've got them howling at the door like rabid, blood-thirsty chimpanzees. Howling like they've already killed one of their own and they have the taste [for blood],"

"But I have a poster of a cute kitty cat in my office, telling me to 'Hang in their, baby!' Sorry, that was an Austin Powers impression, I don't really speak like that. But you get what I'm saying, don't you?"

More to come.