EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
Two poop shy girls allegedly entered an hour long stand off in a public bathroom today, as neither was able to make a courtesy flush, it’s reported.
Local woman Leslie Thompson tells our reporter that she’d been terrified of using a public bathroom ever since ‘the incident’, which our reporter knows involved beef vindaloo and a litre of Mountain Dew. Leslie states that her poo paranoia was so bad, she usually waited for someone to flush before ‘dropping a load – or ‘prairie dogged it’ until someone hit the hand dryer.
Unfortunately for Leslie, she found herself contending with a fellow shy pooer one Monday afternoon, which resulted in neither one of them leaving the bathroom stall. Our reporter asks why she simply didn’t just cough and drop it, but Leslie reckons that tactic leaves too much room for error.
‘I’d say the cough and drop technique has a 70% success rate. But if in doubt, you should throw some toilet paper down to soften the blow.” Leslie recommends.
“The last thing you want to do is cough THEN drop. At that point, you’re just calling attention to it.”
As both girls nervously waited to hear the flush, Leslie says she’d panicked and let out a small fart, which added another fifteen minutes to her wait time.
“That’s the problem with small toilets, there’s not enough flushes or air dryers to go around.”
“I wish they played music or something.”
As the time ticked close to an hour, Leslie eventually had to concede defeat, lest she be late for a dinner date. Luckily for her, her opponent stayed inside the stall the entire time and Leslie was about to leave unnoticed.
More to come.