LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Local PE teacher Brian Campbell suffered the public indignity of teaching a sit-down theory class and having to act as if they are the same as other teachers.

As the class sat down politely and waited for the 50 minute ordeal to be over, they were somewhat interested when Mr Campbell informed his students they would be discussing drugs and alcohol. 

Although the aims of the class rubric state students should learn the risk of drug use, Mr Campbell perhaps let too much of his surfie-side show and mostly warned kids against smoking ‘today’s hydroponic shit.’

“Remember, they [the drug dealer] don’t care about getting you stoned, they just care about getting your money,” stated Campbell, unaware he was rolling a post-it up like a joint.

“I probably shouldn’t say this, but, never take the risk. Pay a little extra and get the real stuff. Bush mate.”

Sensing that he was perhaps not condemning drugs the way he was legally required to, Mr Campbell then told a series of ‘cautionary tales’ that happened to a friend of his called ‘Ryan.’

“Don’t mess around with it unless you want to eat an entire packet of Coco Pops straight from the box or have your friends try to trick you into thinking you’ve gone deaf.”

“Actually we did that once it was pretty funny! But don’t do it! Not with the hydroponic shit OK? Keiran mate, I’m not telling you again.”

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